Shout It Loud

There can’t be many jobs that are as much fun as DJ’ing. I’ve been working as a club DJ for the past three years and I love it. But the time has come for me to progress with my musical career and break into music production.

My favourite form of dance music is house. I’ve been a house fan for as long as I can remember, thanks to my mum who is an old-school party girl. She used to play all sorts of happy house and handbag house all day long, jigging around our flat while telling me stories about the days when she used to go to illegal raves in fields off the M25.

I’ve been dabbling with Ableton Live off and on for the past 18 months and I think I’ve got the basics of music production pretty much licked. What I want now is a really good way to integrate the music productioin software with my DJ performance.

Next Month there is a new controller being released for Ableton Live called the Novation Launchpad. I’ve seen a demo of this neat tool and I think its just what I need. It will let me fire off my collection of music clips in sync with the records I’m playing and bring a whole new dimension to my DJ sets.

Unfortunately I’ve got to wait until November the 1st before they’re available, but I’ve already placed a pre-order with DV247.com who are the first people in the UK to be stocking this fantastic looking device. At only £149.99 I really couldn’t resist.

This could be just what I need to kick start my music production career.

Don’t you just hate skinny girls? Well, if you’re built like me you probably do. Some say if you want to see what a girl will look like when she is older take a look at her mum. In my case I look more like my dad in a wig.

I’ve always been big. My mum says I have big bones. At 6ft 3inches tall I’m not about to argue with her, and since she is only 5ft 5inches there is not much chance she will be arguing with me. If you have ever seen the film Shallow Hal I look a bit like the character Rosemary Shanahan, but not when she is seen as Gwynneth Paltrow. Unfortunately it seems that most of my friends are all Gwynneth Paltrows.

On a recent shopping expedition with a few girlfriends we decided it would be fun to try on some summer wear and maybe buy some nice beach clothes. So we called in to a local beach and surf shop where my chums gaily grabbed a selection of Roxy and Animal clothing and headed off to the changing rooms. I was left looking like a lemon cos there wasn’t a single piece of girls clothing in my size. In fact there wasn’t even much in the mens section that would fit me, only a huge pair of mens combat trousers. Ideal if I were headed off to Afghanistan but not very sexy or alluring like the little shorts and bikinis that my friends were trying on.

So I’m currently dead jealous of small, skinny girls who get to wear all those trendy beach fashions while I have to make do with outsize mens combat trousers. It just isn’t fair.

This video demonstrates how simple it is to pull a tablecloth from under a dinner service. Their advice is that you perfect your skill using plastic or old crockery. I wish I’d seen this before I destroyed my mothers’ favourite tableware. Oh well - practice makes perfect…

Cement silos must be one of the most boring things ever invented; after all, they hold cement, that’s it, nothing more, nothing less. But what is someone came up with 5 practical uses for a silo? Then would they still be one of the most boring things ever invented?

Cement Silos, are ugly things

So here you are 5 uses for a cement silo.

1. Toy Storage - Can you imagine the amount of naff cuddly toys you could get inside a cement silo? Then you could light it and burn them all to a cinder, what better way to make use of all that empty space!
2. Hide Your Stash - Have you robbed a Post Office lately? Do you need somewhere safe to store your booty whilst the heat disappears? Where better than a cement silo? The only possible problem is if your booty gets stick in the outlet valve. There may be the odd engineer trying to unblock which may lead them to discover your hidden treasures.
3. DVD Storage - Are you one of these types that has too many DVD’s? Well how about placing a spiral staircase inside a n old cement silo and then run your dvd collection around it. Just imagine no more lack of storage in your lounge. You can place the cement silo in your garden and free up valuable space in the house.
4. Gangland Members - I’ve seen Essex Boys; everyone in Essex is a Gangster right? If you are a Carlton Leach type person, where better than to stash those you have given a good kicking too than an empty cement silo? Come on you know it makes sense!
5. Cement - What were you actually thinking? Cement Silos are for cement you dummy. I am sure there are ways of recycling these big lunks of metal, but really what else are you going to do with them other than fill with cement!

What would you do with a cement silo? You tell me……..